I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
