HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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