watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
