is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
