the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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