batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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