It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
