Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize