Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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