I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
