I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
