the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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