hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
