Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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