I need to stop coming to work sober
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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