Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
