discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
