dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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