Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
