get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
