That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
did you just send me my own nude
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
