Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
