my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
