She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
