Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
