I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't put those talents on a resume
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
