in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
