You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
