It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You are a genius and a whore.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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