I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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