This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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