This is not my ceiling
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
vagina is talking i cant
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
