ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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