They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
