community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
