Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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