3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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