so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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