In the future we'll all be gay
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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