My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
