so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
