Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
