I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up under a house in Key West
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