I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
