I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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