it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
