my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
