Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

Umm I'm too high to move.

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(954): View more from Florida

we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5

(201): View more from New Jersey

thats barely a game just flip a coin

(954): View more from Florida

should we drink on heads or tails?

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(619): View more from California

3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

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(410): View more from Maryland

It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

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(303): View more from Colorado

That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked

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(504): View more from Louisiana

So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.

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(719): View more from Colorado

if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".

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