I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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