you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How's work?
Spinning.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
