so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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